Pass the Xanax, Please.

I am not sure I have really ever talked about my anxiety on this site. I have wrote about it for sure on my facebook and other various sites. But yeah, I suffer. I used to take medicine but now I go the NO med route.

I am not sure that is the best choice for quality of life, but at this moment its the best choice for me.

So I sit here at almost 1 pm in the afternoon with my two doggies starting out of my high rise apartment window. I feel safe here today. I feel ok with doing nothing, at least for right now.

My fiancé was sweet enough to get me a toffee coffee from across the street. So that was a sweet little gesture. I think he deals with my anxiety and weird self very well. He is a doer, he likes to run, run, run. But day’s like today he just will have to run alone.

I used to feel isolated and alone when I had bouts with anxiety but now I just take a few deep breaths and embrace the fact that sometimes everything in the world scares me or at the least makes me anxious and nervous.

I guess for me, anxiety beats panic. I had a few months of crazy panic attacks and I’d take anxiety any day over that shit.

Maybe I should push myself at times like this to go out and not be a little recluse in my own little world. But I don’t know, its so easy to just stay away.

Safe in my place, just staring at life outside my window.

To be continued~

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4 thoughts on “Pass the Xanax, Please.

  1. How did you stop taking your medicine to go the “NO” medicine route?? I’ve been on Xanax for over 20 years…It terrifies me to think of coming off of it, but it terrifies me to think of what it’s doing to my memory and mind… Thanks for sharing your story. Been there… still am… xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah I was having memory issues but even more, I didn’t feel. I mean thats great right, especially when your panicky but I stopped feeling, caring, it was just like going through life like bleh, life is supposed to be hard. Do I miss it somedays, absolutely but going off was the best thing I ever did. What I did was I cut in 1/2 and start only taking 1/2 a day. for about 1 month, then i cut them into 4 little pieces and took and started taking only a little 1/4 for about 2 weeks and then I just stopped and never looked back. I had a harder time going ambien then I ever did Xanax or other meds. Hope this helps.

      Like

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