I am not sure I have really ever talked about my anxiety on this site. I have wrote about it for sure on my facebook and other various sites. But yeah, I suffer. I used to take medicine but now I go the NO med route.
I am not sure that is the best choice for quality of life, but at this moment its the best choice for me.
So I sit here at almost 1 pm in the afternoon with my two doggies starting out of my high rise apartment window. I feel safe here today. I feel ok with doing nothing, at least for right now.
My fiancé was sweet enough to get me a toffee coffee from across the street. So that was a sweet little gesture. I think he deals with my anxiety and weird self very well. He is a doer, he likes to run, run, run. But day’s like today he just will have to run alone.
I used to feel isolated and alone when I had bouts with anxiety but now I just take a few deep breaths and embrace the fact that sometimes everything in the world scares me or at the least makes me anxious and nervous.
I guess for me, anxiety beats panic. I had a few months of crazy panic attacks and I’d take anxiety any day over that shit.
Maybe I should push myself at times like this to go out and not be a little recluse in my own little world. But I don’t know, its so easy to just stay away.
Safe in my place, just staring at life outside my window.
To be continued~