Screw Normal, Crazy is More fun!

Guess whose back, uhhuh me.
I am fueled on Diet coke and Gigi’s cupcakes tonight, so look out.

I was looking over the first paragraph of the book I have been writing for years, which goes something like this:

(I really thought when I sat down to write this book. It was going to be easy. But 10 years,3 kids and 1 failed marriage later. I realized writing a book is insane. Late nights, early mornings and more coffee then one person should ever have consumed. I mean if I got even a penny per cup. I would of been a millionaire by now.

That could be a book in itself. So, let me back up and tell you a bit about myself. I am a small town girl and when I mean small town….)

okay so it starts out something like that. It explains how I was the geeky girl growing up in a small town. Always the friend, never the IT girl.

How I sucked at school. I was a smart girl with undiagnosed at that time adhd. I mean I could sit still for like 4 minutes tops, do you know how hard it is to study or do school when you can’t focus. What a nightmare.

It talks about:

How I probably had sex too soon with definitely the wrong guys, only to fit in or because I thought they would like me more. God If I knew then what I know now. My life would of been a lot different and those boys, well tsk tsk they would of wish they dated me…*smiles*.

It talks about the joys of growing up in a small town.

It then goes into what after HS was like:

I ran away to NYC after high school, so chapters go into how I went there and found out your diet should not be a chipwich sandwich and absolute vodka. How to get into the best clubs before the age of 21 and how the streets there are nothing compared to life in small town Wisconsin. I mean really, they have real problems there. *nods*.

It goes into detail on the love-hate relationship I have had with my body for what seems an entire lifetime. But yeah besides all that I’m pretty healthy, happy and confident.

It also explains how I became that strong, independent (kind of) woman. Who takes no shit and says it like it is. That comes from being broken, hurt, kicked around and just plain insecure sometimes.

Being a woman is hard, really it is, but it also is the most awesome thing ever.

My book will tell you the joys of being pregnant, and raising kids. Now mind you my parenting may not be typical parenting. My kids did ride the mattress down the stairs and I was probably riding it too. I made mistakes and Ill share them too.

It goes into the story of my marriage, which is amazing and really sad. I was not good wife material for the most part. ReallY I wasn’t. It’s hard to be selfish and a good wife, right?

But hey I wasn’t always a horrible wife. I do have my good moments.

This book will make you cry, piss your pants laughing and probably sick.

Hey, I lived a pretty interesting, funny, chaotic, normal life.
I mean….I had problems, but I share them open and honestly.

Did you know I once checked my self into a mental health facility. Really, I did and you know what it was the BEST thing I ever did. Really, I mean yeah the drugs were great but it showed me that I was not the only normal messed up person in the world and that is is completely normal to be lost in a big world.

I came out a different person and that is who made me who I am today. I have knowledge about stuff you will be able to relate and stuff you will shake your head at. But really in the end this book is about life, and that Erma Bombeck was right the grass is greener over the septic tank and that dogs do make the best of friends.

So night after night lately I work on that. I am not sure if it should be published under self help, humor or maybe horror?

Let me think about that….ill get back to you.

But all in all, if you have a voice, use it, write, sing, kick and scream whatever you need to do in life…DO IT…because when the final curtain calls, well that’s it….~!!

Okay, my soda is empty, so it’s time for me to go…~!!

Until next time…………~!!

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