Ass Wipe and The Heat Guy.

Time for a flashback blog, hope you enjoy…~!!


The Heat Guy, Ok Its NOT, But let’s pretend it is!

So yeah the heat guy came over today. Did I mention he was totally hot and young? No he is NOT my boyfriend, YET *giggles*. He actually came over to light my fire, I mean furnace as it needed to be lit and I am afraid to do that kind of stuff as I would hate to blow my house up.

So, I let him in and offer him a drink (wine, whiskey, other) okay I am dreaming now *wakes up*.

Ha, I bet you thought I was going to write some hot steamy sex filled blog didn’t you?

Only thing hot and bothered was the furnace I assure you. Back to my story. He comes in the front door. I secure my little ankle biters in the bathroom as I would hate for two 4lb dogs to attack this man *shrieks*. I only sic my dogs on ugly, old guys.

He has to stroll through the living room, the kitchen, and climb over a baby gate I have mounted in the door way to the lower level as it meant to keep the ankle biters from peeing on the downstairs carpet without my knowledge. Free dogs to a good home *just kidding*.

Well first off the poor guy almost bites it trying to climb over. I held back my laughter as he may of hurt himself. That would of been awful as he probably could  sue. But it was funny *laughs about it now* So I follow him into the basement. Okay for some reason my ADHD mind just took me to a dark place as this sounds like it could be the beginning of a horror flick. I did not kill him. He left safely, I promise.

So, he lights my fire, I mean furnace and were making small talk. By small talk I mean talking about the weather and my dungeon. Dungeon is what I called the unfinished part of my basement (that the furnace is in).  Nice guy, really he was, he is not only hot but friendly. I have a heat man crush. It will last all of 2 minutes *nods*.

So, I mention about my upcoming divorce and all, hey I had to let him know this beautiful disaster aka me was available. I promise he had NO wedding ring on, so simmer down married women of the world *chuckles*. He told me he just went through a break up. “Aww, how sad, do you need someone to comfort you? By comfort you, I mean lets have crazy wild afternoon sex before my kids get home”.

AS if, I would say that to complete stranger. I am shy and innocent, Really I am! So we head back upstairs and I walk him to the door and thank him and tell him to have a nice Halloween, blah blah blah. He leaves.

I go in the bathroom to let the ankle biters out and I had toliet paper hanging from the back of my black yoga pants.

So much for me romping the heat guy, huh? *hits myself in the forehead*. “How embarrassing” *mortified once again*.


Moral to the story, once again there isn’t one, btw I use Charmin.

So now lets hear your dreaded tp out the rear story, it has happened to you as well, right?



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